hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
