I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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