Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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