Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
