return my video game
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
