sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
