"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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