He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
a search helicopter?!
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
