We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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