Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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