WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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