i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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