We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
