Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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