As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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