Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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