thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
