do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
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we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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