what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
