Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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