1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
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I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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