: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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