Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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