i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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