Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
