i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
