Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
