go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I've blown a few things in my day
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
