The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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