Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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