you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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