we have officially lost it.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
