Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
