he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
