Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
