You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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