whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
