butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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