Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
