Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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