508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
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I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
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we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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