you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
