My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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