Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
