I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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