im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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