You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
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On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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