a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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