yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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