What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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