Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
