do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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