What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
