Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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