how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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