I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
