Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
