when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
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He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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