Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
