You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
