There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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