in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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