Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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