hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize
