fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
it's not cheating when I paid for it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
