I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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